This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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