so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Never underestimate the power of titties
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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