Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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