maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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