He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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