I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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