..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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