Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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