Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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