It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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