I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize