Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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