I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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