she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize