i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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