if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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