i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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