I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize