Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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