How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize