My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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