Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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