I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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