So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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