youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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