if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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