I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize