I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize