he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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