I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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