my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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