The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize