you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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