I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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