If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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