god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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