six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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