I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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