We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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