the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize