Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize