I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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