Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize