If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize