Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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