I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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