i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize