I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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