I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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