Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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